(Translated from Spanish) "Stickado is the first snack that achieves the category of aperitive. A mini sausage that can be eaten in any moment, wherever one desires, at home, in the car, at the office, at the beach, going for a walk, alone or with friends, with family..."

Congratulations, your sausage can be eaten anywhere. Amazing. It even doesn't descriminate you by your social preferences.

The same packet of sausages had pictures of people smiling and playing, in various scenes of everyday life. So basically.. what they mean is that the sausage is something which brings you happiness, friends, hobbies, and a good job? As well as being both a snack AND an aperitive? Sounds like a good deal!

I kinda like this "juice and fruit bits" drink they sell in Carrefour. It says: "CONTAINS 100% OF YOUR DAILY FRUIT REQUIREMENT!" Then on the back it clarifies: "Contains 2 out of the 5 portions of fruit required daily".

Then an advert for the Madrid Metro: "it's not the trains, it's how it makes you feel." Actually, it's the trains. Morons.

I hate this marketing which shows people laughing and smiling and all that crap, which makes a long speech about the benefits of the product that doesn't mean anything, which wastes your time with attempts to pretend that the product has qualities which it doesn't. It's dishonest. "We at Shitty Burger are 100% dedicated to the wellbeing of our customers"... no, because if you really did care then you'd be speaking with actions and not words. And it doesn't even work. I long ago worked out all the stupid tricks of the marketing vampires and now whenever some product makes a long list of its supposed benefits I think "you would say that" and take no notice. This kind of marketing assumes you are an idiot. What is more, it acts as if you weren't a fellow human being. There's no humour, no fun, just SWALLOW THIS PILL AND STOP THINKING. No-one is that serious; we all want to take things lightly when we can. There are serious things in the world like diseases and wars and mysteries to be solved. Then there are packaged sausages. Packaged sausages are not something you can or should get excited about.

The people in these companies just want to squeeze money out of you. They don't care about you. They just think of you as an objective. Why can't they talk to their customers like they talk to friends? "Stickado is a snack-sausage that can be carried around and eaten easily in any situation. We don't want to boast, but we think our sausage is the god-damn best. Try and and see. We dare you." To try and get people to buy something they wouldn't buy otherwise by screwing with their minds - and thereby wasting their money - is the same as stealing. It's the same because it shows an utter disrespect and lack of caring towards the other. If these people will be so soulless as to do that, how far would they go? How much damage would they cause people for their profit if only they could get away with it? I can't belive ordinary people are like that.

There are brands which talk to you like a human being. Whether they really think like that or are just very clever is debateable, but either way I consider it a matter of principle to buy those products as a preference. Threadless.com, Burger King (somewhat), "Innocent" smoothies, off the top of my head. If you think the same as me join me in my flipping off of commericial vampirism. We're humans, not robots, assholes.

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