I don't think there is any part of our nature which is "wrong". All of our instincts evolved for a purpose, and they all have a place. (Well sometimes perhaps we have evolved past the point of needing them... or whatever... but the point of this idea is against the idea that we have to "eliminate" some part of us. Beware of Black and White about these things.) Fear has a place. I have spent a lot of time in the last year working to remove my fear, and funnily enough, this often meant that I ended up doing things which were damaging to myself. I've changed my mind now: the point is not to remove all fear, but to have fear in the right amounts in the right places and times.

Fear is nothing more than our desire not to hurt ourselves. Cut your hand with a steak knife! Why don't you want to do it? Well duh, there's no point and it hurts a lot. But that feeling that stops you from cutting your hand with a steak knife just for the hell of it... that gut feeling which cuts in before your conscious mind can weigh up the pros and cons... that's fear. Think about it, it feels exactly the same.

FEAR IS THE RELUCTANCE TO BE HURT.

Right, simple enough.

So, suppose you're scared of... say, giving blood.

Your conscious mind says, "Giving blood would help people. I should do it".
But, the image you have in your head is the pain of the needle. So you're scared.

Other people don't worry about pain, and get it done anyway. If you ask them, they'd say it's a good choice. Supposing your conscious mind decides that it would be a good thing, how do you convince your unconscious mind?

Focus on the good side. Make your mental image of the thing a good feeling.

So instead of imagining pain in your mental representation of giving blood, imagine the pleasure of knowing you have helped people - the original reason for wanting to doing it anyway. To conquer fear then: align your unconscious mind with the conscious decision.

You should do work, but feel lazy - i.e. scared of the imagined pain of work; focus instead on the pleasure of getting things done, and the outcome you want.

You should admit your mistake but would feel ashamed; focus instead on avoiding the pain of being even more wrong... or even make yourself feel proud in being strong enough to admit defeat. (A nice reversal there. And it's true. Being strong is about being wrong as little as possible, but being able to deal with it when you are).

You have to take part in a cavalry charge but are scared of being killed; focus on the fighting and your goal. (Sucks to be you).

You want to approach an attractive girl you see, but are scared of rejection; focus on your desire, and hey, throw in some curiosity about what's going to happen.

Come to that, curiosity is one of the most powerful anti-fear emotions in your arsenal. Does your unconscious mind suggest it will all go wrong and cause pain? If your conscious mind calculates otherwise, the correct response is, I wonder if I'm right? Let's find out! :D

Make a self image of yourself as cheeky and avant-garde and cultivate your anti-fear emotions like excitement, curiosity and determination. Realise that pain is never the end of the world, really overemphasised in fact -- so that your other emotions simply overrun it.

<-------- Back to Index <-------- Back to Thoughts

Buttercat.Apocalypse@Gmail.com

free hit counter